The Importance of coparenting
Divorce and separation is just as difficult, if not more difficult, on your child[ren]. Though children are extremely adaptable, they are also acutely aware of tension and susceptible to negative energy. The absolute best thing parties can do for their children is work together, which sometimes means agreeing to disagree.
Part of separating means giving up control. As important as your child is to you, you have to understand your ex spouse’s house is not within your realm on control. Maybe you prefer all organic foods, while your ex’s idea of breakfast is Little Debbie muffins. Guess what? That’s going to be the new normal, and no Judge is going to order your ex to feed your child all organic foods. This isn’t to say safety issues should be set aside, but as long as your child is safe, healthy, and happy, the Court is not going to encroach.
As these adjustments are made, it is important not to put the children in the middle. Is it okay to ask your children if they had a good lunch? Absolutely! It is acceptable to grill them about everything they eat and everything that goes on at your ex’s home? No. It will create great stress on a child, and ultimately could lead to the child[ren] resenting you.
In summary, do your best to keep everything calm and stable for your kiddos. Ask yourself the following questions:
Are they safe?
Are their medical/mental/education/physical needs being met?
If the answer to those questions are yes…repeat after me: Agree to disagree! Live your home life and understand your ex will live theirs. At any time if you are concerned about something happening in the home, get the opinion of an attorney you trust - they will be sure to be honest with you and tell you if something needs to be done.
Reczek Chase handles a wide range of family law issues and can assist in resolving these issues before they become adversarial. If you’d like to discuss how you may be able to co-parent best, you can set up a time to chat with our attorneys by following this link, or call us at (502)653 7455.
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